CAME THOMAS _ CHAPTER – 6

CAME THOMAS  _ CHAPTER – 6

It is not an exaggeration to say that I least expected Miriam in my house.

Indeed, in my heart of hearts there lies that all – pervading wish to bring her to be forever in my home. But, I know also that it can never be possible.

 For him who is born a Brahmin, many rules and regulations are laid down. Of them it is indeed easy only to break many. Nobody would say anything if one keeps his trespassing a secret, fearing the people around, going with his head hung. For instance, there is my father. That he womanizes is an open secret. But, as long as he keeps going with his head hung as if in shame and pretends to worry over his reputation, none says anything against it.

Not daring to play mischief in the Brahmin Street, he had connection with many low-caste born women. No monetary means. Hence, can’t go to whores. He is of that type who, knowing that he is handsome and that his  amoral behavior would stir and cause joy at least in some women, would explore that knowledge to his advantage and so satiate his appetite.

For me, such shrewdness has never been within the reach. Till date I have never contemplated on the opposite sex, I must say. In all these full thirty years I have not experienced anything. Because of the conventional outlook that I should marry some girl and approach her as a hundred – percent bachelor. After coming to know Valluvan and through him going to his house and getting to know his mother Aadhi and his wife Vasuki I wish to a marry a girl who, apart from being a blend of these two, possesses patience, like my mother, and never tries to project herself.

Though epics do not say anything in this respect, people believe that Lord Vinayaga eternally sits at the street – corners and on the banks of ponds and lakes, searching for a wife who would have the noble traits of his mother Parvathi.

As for me, from the moment I saw Miriam for the first time, some ripples, some sort of restlessness which had never been before, have come to stay within.

I remember distinctly the place, time and occasion of the first meeting between us. In the fisherman colony someone was lying on the streets. Valluvan and myself, who were wading through the dirt and dust, enjoying the cool breeze, hearing the hue and cry, went to that spot. It was exactly at the same time of our reaching the spot, there came a lady and a girl called Miriam. Someone had beaten black and blue the man who was lying there, only half – alive.

Without the least bit of hesitation or reservation the elderly lady was taking out medicinal herbs and a stone to crush them evenly, from out of the bag of the younger one who had come along with her, and getting water from one of the huts turned the herbs into a lotion like thing and was applying it on the bruises with her own beautiful fingers. Calling that young girl  by her name Miriam she was asking her to run home and bring a medicine, naming it. I couldn’t understand their language. But, the name that she called out, Miriam, got stuck in my memory. That afternoon, after she took leave, suddenly darkness came to prevail. When she came back it was like the dawn reborn!

I am very much aware of the fact that the ripples within me regarding Miriam is absolutely of no use. She is the youngest child of the rich Ezekial. She looks beautiful too. There doesn’t seem to be much of a restriction for her. There won’t be any chance at all for them to consider me as their son-in-law. Moreover, she is of a different religious faith. Has come from an alien and. I who belong to that group of Brahmins who boast of their caste and creed, can never hope to marry her. Knowing fully well that there is not the least bit of chance for that, why the restlessness within...?

 ‘Have I also taken after my father?

  Going after each and every female….

But, I am not able to place Miriam in that ‘all and sundry’ category. . . what am I to do. . . .

“Mother will become alright. No need to worry,” – said Miriam. “Sit here,” said she further, gesturing me to sit next her on the swing. It was I who lacked the courage to do so.

“Sister Lizzath has gone to her the medicine. I stayed back, not wanting to leave mother alone. For, no one else is in the house.” Said Miriam, and then began saying, “Your friend Valluvan. . . . . .”

“He is not permitted to enter this region. He is of a low-caste born. In this Brahmin street even his breath is strictly prohibited, so they insist” – thus I gave vent to my impotent rage in some way.

“Amidst us also there are very many similar rules and regulations. Food habits, who we should be friendly with, who should we get married to, who we should lend help in imparting knowledge, who we can treat...like these, we have very many dos and don’ts. Because what we call Jesus – Community is not existing here we are able to come out of our house casually and freely – and move with all, easily.”

“It is indeed a must to have rules and adhering to them,” observed mother in a weak tone. That she was keenly following the conversation that went on between us and even took part in it, gave me great satisfaction.

“Some can never refrain themselves from breaking the laws, as is the case with me,” – said Miriam. This she didn’t say either in pride or in shame. After a moment she said,” Even your son seems to be one such.”

“My husband too,” said mother with her voice expressing the bitterness within.

“The verdict as to who is in the right and who in the wrong depends on what laws they break,” I intervened hurriedly. For, I felt that though Miriam was aware of all about my father  my mother shouldn’t speak ill of her husband i.e.., my father, to her.

Fortunately, casting it aside, Miriam started talking of something else. “In my place, from God knows where, there exists a hope that in our religion a Messiah would be born and having come to Earth he would build the Religion of God for the whole world to stand united and bound by love.”

“It seems that some believe the Messiah to have already arrived” – said I. “It was regarding that – though to some extent it was all above my head – your father and Valluvan were discussing. I was listening to them in silence.”

“True, many regard he who is called Jesus, one who lived for 32 to 33 years and finally bid goodbye to this world, having been branded a convict by the Jews and was crucified, as the Christ and the much-awaited Messiah. But, still, his advent doesn’t seem to have served the purpose of bringing love and peace” – said Miriam. “Contrary to that, quarrels and conflicts have become more frequent among the Jews, it is said. Don’t know which is the truth,”

“Truth is something which can never be perceived with precision and clarity – says Valluvan. He often says that one should hail those alone that never hurt other as Truths,” ­ said I. Speaking about Valluvan helped me come out of my thoughts regarding my own self.

 “Doesn’t Valluvan belong to your religion?”

 “No, some say that his religion has been there even before the Brahmins and Vedic religion came into being. But, for Valluvan, no religion is perfect and fully acceptable. He says that there should be a Universal ideology endowed with humaneness and go beyond the boundaries of the prevailing religions and concept.”

“Why don’t you start searching for it?” – asked Miriam and laughed. There was pathos in the laughter. Also, her ability to think could be perceived in that; and a sort of wholesomeness which go beyond all thoughts. It could be because of the soft-corner that I had for Miriam that  things appeared to me so.

I yearned to go on talking to her in this vein this forever and ever. But then, my father came. “How is mother Vaadhoo? What is it, you are standing here, chatting?” – enquired he as if condemning his own fault in me.

Mother answered his query herself. “I am alright now. You don’t have to worry about me so much. There are still more days to suffer.”

“Ok,ok – don’t start grumbling. Let you become alright” – saying so father looked up at Miriam. I didn’t like the way he looked at her. But, how to say that...

“You are the daughter of the Jewish merchant Ezekial, are’t you? Asked father.

“Yes, sister of Lizzeth who came here to treat your wife” – replied Miriam looking at him straight in his eye.

“Why don’t you ask your father to give some job for this fellow in his business concern?.At this age he is just loafing around, without any worry” – said father.

I felt miserable as if treading on some filth.

Miriam laughed aloud. “He has got enough work alright. There is no need for him to get job in a business concern. He is in search of a way for the betterment of humanity. He won’t come to our house as a servant.” Said she.

I was taken aback. This girl is indeed very mischievous… ‘How come she could read what was in my heart? Will it be that Valluvan would have told her  that which he has guessed….’

Miriam continued. “If you are really concerned about your son, choose a girl from you caste itself and get him married to her a early as possible. Otherwise. . .the way you go in search of next street Anjalai, the situation would go out of hand.”

The realization that Miriam knew about the Anjalai of the adjacent street sort of silenced father at once. But then, it was not that much of a secret. Rather, it was an open secret.

“There, my sister comes. But, let me tell another thing also. I’m well – versed in astrology and foretelling the future. That is why I predicted so.” – said Miriam.

When Lizzath came inside with her medical-kit, taking that opportunity father left the place hurriedly. After giving me the required medicines and telling me in detail as to how to give them to mother, Lizzath observed: “Your mother is yearning for your love and affection. Don’t starve her” Thus, advising me like an elderly lady and looking at her younger sister, she asked, “Have you done some mischief here too as is your usual practice?,” as if scolding her, and, without waiting for an answer, began to leave, accompanied by Miriam.

Mother rose and sat on the ‘Visupalaga’, and,  swallowing the medicine that I gave her, said, “I like that young girl very much. What a hearty laugh! What innocent words! She looks pleasant too. There is wealth also. Her father is a millionaire, you know. She or her sister – how they shower love on others! Willingly coming to me and treating, without asking even a pie. Who will have such a magnanimity?” – And, she heaved a huge sigh.

I could very well interpret mother’s long sigh. But, what else could be there for me to do except sighing along with her? I sat on the swing, where Miriam was sitting a little while ago and heaved a huge sigh. Mother was looking at me intently.

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CAME THOMAS Chapter _ 7

CAME THOMAS 

Chapter _ 7

A Novel in Thamizh by KA.NAA.SUBRAMANIAN

 Translated into English by Latha Ramakrishnan

Though they talk of things like rules and regulations, norms and codes the lives of Brahmins are not all that similar. If one has the will he can be a personification of Vedas and move around into all the nooks and corners of justice and righteousness. If not, with half – knowledge, going about murmuring that which is laid down in Vedas, as suits his convenience, laying great emphasis to the rhyme and rhythm of chanting them and to the learning of Vedas by heart, without knowing their meaning, and without caring to learn their meaning, the concepts and ideas that they propagate, their end, principle, course anything, one can just while away the time.

As far as I know, no matter how it had all been in the ancient time, today, of the twenty-two Brahmins in this Brahmin street, only one or at the most two, have some knowledge of the meaning and course of Vedas, and the significance and ideals of the Brahmin concept of Life and the way they are to live it. I say this with certainty. The rest, though they call themselves Brahmins, boast of it sometimes, all that they do is just nod their head when required, say ‘sprinkle the ‘atchadhai’ (sacred – rice) on my head’ and save and invest the money thus  acquired.

Boasting is hereditary. ‘Why don’t these no – gooders like my father realize that they by their deeds cause damage to this pride and to their creed?’ – So I ask myself. One can take pride in being a Brahmin. But when? Only when one acts having a full knowledge of what he is doing. Seeing those who like my father indulge in wrong– doings and evil-acts and consider hiding their misdeeds as the sole aim of life, I regret having been born a Brahmin. If one wants to feel proud of himself, he should engage himself in doing things which are worthy of such pride. Should do deeds which are praiseworthy.

“Those who achieve great things are great-men. Small ones are those who cannot achieve so.” – says Valluvan. It is indeed profoundly true

‘It is not because of the rules and regulations, nor because they have chalked out narrow paths to journey through life that I am dissatisfied with Brahmanism. But, all that I am ashamed of is the way they indulge in all sort of evil-pursuits and cleverly hide them, and also boast around claiming that it is only because of them that justice and virtue flourish on earth. As long as Brahminism doesn’t keep vigil on those who are to live as model human beings but who indulge in shameful activities, what is the use of Brahmin-cult? The fact that I am a Brahmin, instead of making me feel proud, fills me with a deep sense of shame’.

Valluvan counters me often:- “If you feel that your father conducts himself so meanly which makes you suffer a sense of shame of why don’t you live an ideal life, admired and looked up to, even by the Brahmins?” – So he sternly advises me.

It is not that I haven’t tried. I have tried with all my heart to get myself involved wholly in the learning by heart and chanting process of Vedas and in knowing the rituals and ceremonies laid out in Vedas, its mantras and the various paths advocated in them. But, though I have learnt as much as there is to learn, using my brains, enlightenment evaded me. Why is it said that things are to be done  in such and such a manner alone? What if it is done in a different way? Why do they say that we have to accept, without questioning, that which is said in Vedas? Why so? Is it wrong to question? But, how can on understand things clearly and fully, without questioning?’

Valluvan says: “In all religions they have set a boundary line beyond which it is unwise to ask any question. The boundary line that Brahmanism has, sort of, covers most of its area. In Jainism, it appears to me that I am a Jain by birth, why, even the religion of Buddha, Ezekial’s Jewish religion too, when approaching to certain sections of Enlightenment, say that beyond a particular point one shouldn’t ask questions.”

“Can there be parts and sections, quarter, half and so on, in Enlightenment too? – I asked.

For a minute even Valluvan was wholly taken aback and was unable to answer. Then, he straightened himself and answered: “True, Wisdom and Enlightenment are indeed something that happens in its totality. It seems that during Buddha’s time a wise–man who lived somewhere in some foreign land said, ‘I consider that realization whereby I know nothing, as complete’. Likewise, in the eastern countries, a sage who lived more or less in the same period had said. ‘Any Enlightenment or knowledge which is of no use in man’s daily life is unfit to be called so’ - so I have heard from the learned men of those lands”.

“This is not an answer to my query” – I said.

“That means...?”

“That,  whether it is correct to hold that one can question only up to certain point and beyond that it is wrong to do so.”

“Even if we are to consider it incorrect and unfair, man’s brain and knowledge and the realization and Enlightenment that result out of it cannot be complete. In fact, it is because of this alone that there are so many religions, ways of living, philosophies on this Earth. To our knowledge itself there exist some twenty various, different religions. And also, many more schools of thoughts, concepts of life would be there in different lands, and at different times. Apart from those that were and are, in the days to come in this never–ending passage of time, how many more conflicts and chaos, Faiths and religions, rituals, acceptances would result out of hopes and ceremonies – who can foretell? Thinking on these lines instills in me fear and apprehension” – said Valluvan.

“For me they all seem to be great matters – above my head. I don’t have the strength to contemplate on the destiny of Humanity and its brain and do something about it – to reform it or sympathize with it or shed tears over. But, when I wander through the streets of this  Mylai city – true, nowhere I feel like resting, at peace – my father’s shameful deeds steadily follow me. Barking like the way the street dogs do, on seeing a stranger – they seem to ask me. ‘Oh, you are a Brahmin? Really?’ Whatever I do would go a waste…..so I feel. Whatever is done – getting educated, going ahead towards the goal and principle, or being only half–attached, developing a kind of ‘detached–attachment’ – they would be of absolutely no use, so it appears…”

Valluvan has an answer for this too. “It is you who has to decide that which is called your destiny, your path, your path, your fate (karma). Why should you think of, having as a scape–goat, your father’s foul deeds, that you suffer because of them and that whatever you do would go waste?” – So he asked one day.

To answer him, then and there, I didn’t have any. Pondering over the query  for a whole day. I indeed took my time and answered him only after two days: “The reason for my thinking on these lines is the fact that I am a Brahmin by birth. They think that the essence of Brahmanism comes to one by reason of birth. They believe so. The cause of my birth is my father. Hence, it is but natural that his deeds and ways and mentality do affect me. If they do not influence me fully, how can I be a Brahmin?”

Valluvan too accepted it as indeed true. “But, you are not the son of your father alone. Aren’t you the son of your mother also? Though she has no academic scholarship and the  knowledge of Vedas or worldly wisdom, there is in her the inherent good character and the principle of journeying through the righteous path alone, that which she has willingly taken upon herself to follow and uphold – isn’t it so? And, for her sake and because of her, you can strive to live the life of a righteous Brahmin.”

For that, I had no answer. What Valluvan said was indeed true only. But, from time immemorial this society has been treating women as non-entity, something not to be taken note of... not to be taken into account… may be, that is why, what Valluvan pointed out had not struck me earlier as something significant. The belief that man alone is important, only he should be so,’ has been in vogue generation after generation and we have been acting in accordance with that belief…

“Is there any society, any religion where man has given equal status to woman?” – asked I.

“There is isn’t any to point at proudly. Societies are born due to social and economic factors. Hence, right from the start the practice of considering he who made money for the family, as the head of the family and an important person of the household, has come to stay.There is nothing wrong in that notion. We cannot say that women have no significant and special place in our social – setup. To some extent, they are thought of in noble terms and held in high esteem only,” – said Valluvan.

“But, psychologically, mind – set, in our attitude?”

“Between man and women what differences can one find out and preach? Further, it won’t be wrong at all to claim that women play more important a role than that of man, in the work of creation.? Her duty does not end with bearing the child in her womb for ten long months and giving it birth. After delivering the baby also, at least for six or seven years, the children look up to the mother only for everything. When such being the case, why should we think that the mother’s role in a family is less significant? For your mother’s sake, to give her peace and fulfillment, you should mend the course of your life..”

It was only after the lengthy discussion with Valluvan that I began to grow attached to life. Prior to that, umpteen numbers of times I had contemplated on committing suicide – ending my life voluntarily by jumping into a river or a lake. Such thoughts had long since left me. To survive, living the life of a Brahmin (chanting mantras and conducting rituals) and so surviving is still something that I cannot come to terms with. I have no intention of living a life of hypocrisy – adhering to an ideal, thought–process and a way of life in which I do not have whole–hearted belief and faith, and thinking along the lines of the rest who pretend to believe in it whole–heartedly, and so be silent and thus live on cheating the world – even if my father insist and force, I have decided not to go to ‘Prohitham.’ This does not mean that all my learning and knowledge of the Vedas are considered a waste by me. The other Brahmins consider it as a viable means for minting money. But, though I have learnt it. I think that it is a futile knowledge which has no help for me and also has no meaning for today’s life….

I myself didn’t know how long I stayed so, swinging the ‘oonjal’ slightly. So lost in thoughts I was that I had forgotten even that  which I had told Valluvan - ‘I will come and tell you how mother is’. Probably mother was sleeping, for she too didn’t disturb my chain of thoughts. The afternoon had gone past and the shadows had started moving toward the east.

Mother, as if she had gone through a nightmare, woke up with a sudden jerk, and, raising herself up, she sat. There was no trace of fatigue; nor any signs of the fact that she had fainted a little while ago. “That girl has indeed given some good medicine. I will get up, and, after taking bath, will do the cooking” – said mother.

In mother’s heart there would surely be the hurt and pain for the way her husband is going after other women, like a dog in heat. That is human nature. Still, cooking food thrice a day for that very husband, and preparing meals to the taste of her son born of that man, the husband, and deriving satisfaction out of it, continue to be the way of woman’s life – things that would make one happy, and they as a whole are considered to be the virtue of womanhood…

I’m not hungry. Don’t prepare anything for my sake.” – said I.

“Oh, no. How can there be no hunger at this age? If your father comes he would shout at me saying that just because I am not feeling well he cannot forgo his lunch. There is still much time for the sun to retire for the day. I will finish taking bath in a minute and then I will prepare food in no time”– said she and got up hurriedly.

“If you can - prepare. If not, the sky won’t come down. If father goes without food for just one day, the world won’t turn upside down.”

Saying, “When there is a lady at home it should not be the case,” mother, as if thinking something else said, “If you marry a girl and bring her home to be of help to me, I will be ok”.

“For my daily–bread itself, I rely on my father. When such being the situation, I will be a fool to bring another girl too to eat out of his hand, leaving her half – hungry all the time.”

“Come on, do we really go without food? Not yet reached that stage! Moreover, the girl with a good horoscope could bring you luck. If she who comes happens to be “Lakshmi.” (The Goddess of wealth)...”

“Only her elder sister[goddess of misfortune] will come,” – said I.

“Don’t you speak such words. They sound ill” said mother.

“Oh, mother – uttering the word ‘Fire’ won’t burn your mouth.”

“True.But still, as your friend Valluvan holds, only good words should come from us,”  - mother pointed out.

“When there comes fulfillment in one’s life, automatically good words alone would come out of him or her.”

“But, then don’t you feel that each and everyone of us should struggle to seek and attain fulfillment in our lives. Without any initiative, if we just sit and wait for something good to befall us, how can that be?”

“Tell me mother, are you really satisfied with life?” – Slowly I asked her, with all my love.

Taken aback, she stared at me for a split – second. I could see in her eyes the reflection of the whole lot of love and affection that I had for her and it gave me a deep sense of satisfaction. For some ten seconds she stood there, holding on to the chains of the swing as if steadying herself, and then, straightening herself, she looked up, at me and said in a clear tone, “Vaadhoo, what is there for me to regret?  Both, in the house in which I was born and in that to which I had come as a bride, nothing is lacking. A good–looking husband, two daughters–they are living happily with their husbands, and a worthy son, one who has deep love for his mother!  What do I lack?” – asked she.

“If you are really happy and without regrets, that is happiness for me too.” – said I.

“I know why you are speaking so apprehensively, Vaadhoo... Those are all small and trivial regrets. There is nothing that great, which could drown one completely. Remember the song my father-in-law used to sing?. Vajra Oosi...”

I too remembered. That was a song speaking of man’s profound good fortune in being born without any handicap – not being blind, deaf, or lame, and staying without being afflicted with any ailment, and thanking god for that with infinite gratitude.

“They too have a similar song in their language– so Miriam was telling before you came–” said mother. “She sang melodiously and explained its meaning also. I’m not able to sing it. But its meaning ,the way she had interpreted it has found a place in my heart. ‘Oh, my Lord, with what profound Grace, Mercy, and Justice you treat me! As far as possible I will conduct myself wisely and humbly. I live with my heart hailing your noble advent.(Pslam 1010) – some king of their land sang, it seems.”

I was indeed surprised by the familiar manner in which mother spoke of Miriam. “Have you already met Miriam earlier mother? Where and when? For, you never step out of  house?” – I asked.

“Some four or five days back – it can be even a week – she came one evening, in search of me. Amidst many things, she spoke a lot about you and Valluvan too!” Mother involuntarily let out a deep sigh. “Good girl.”

“True. Good girl only. And also, a brave and courageous girl. Once she lashed out her horse-whip at someone who tried to misbehave with her!,” – said I.

“Indeed, many are in need horse-whip. Sad that they don’t get it!” – observed mother.

I felt proud of my mother.

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CAME THOMAS _ Chapter - 8

CAME THOMAS _ Chapter - 8

A Novel in Thamizh by KA.NAA.SUBRAMANIAN

 Translated into English by Latha Ramakrishnan

Down the Memory lane we can only move back in time, but, in reality we can only move ahead and not backwards.

Brahmins have got some influence in the society – with that they find avenues to earn their daily–bread. There might have been some meaning and principle in the life of Brahmins, once upon a time, long, long ago. But, that principle and meaning are no more, I feel.

Somehow, Brahmanism fails to give me any satisfaction or fulfillment.

It is not because of lofty principles and ideals that this dissatisfaction prevails. It is on account of my father’s falsehood and pretentious living, a life full of lies that Brahmanism fails to prove meaningful or satisfying to me. It is not that there are no Brahmins who go about doing their daily – chores in a befitting manner. But, I can only look at them from a distance and am unable to move closer to them and have them as my model.

 One day I asked Valluvan, “Can I convert into a Jain?”

  “What for?”

“My Brahmanism is not satisfying to me.”

 “Same is the case with me too. My Jainism does not give me satisfaction. What to do?” – asked Valluvan.

 “I don’t think that we both are speaking the same thing.”

“You evaluate the Brahmins with discontent, having your father as the model. As for me, there is very much the wish to establish a principle and concept, going beyond the philosophies of Jainism and establishing a new religion and religious principle, one which is common to the whole of Humanity.” Said Valluvan.

“Both cannot be the same. You found your universal religion based on Jainism only – such as non – violence, extinct of the five senses and the like. That Brahmanism tastes bitter to me is for different reason, can’t you see? To lead a good life, especially for me to lead a good life it is insufficient to a Brahmin.”

“I don’t think it proper to go in search of another religion, for this reason. It is you who should change and not your religion.” opined Valluvan.

“I don’t think it is possible to have a change of heart, being a Brahmin.”

“What else can you be, except being a Brahmin? Brahmins believe in Caste and Creed. You are Brahmin by birth. Even if you convert into a Jain, you should be Brahmin only. Isn’t it?.”

 “How can that be?”

“It is not only because I am a Jain. But, I don’t think that man is capable of changing the old and the ancient. Even if you change your religion today and change your name, will that erase your past? Only, your attempt to escape will be clearly seen by the world. I don’t think there any other positive results.”

“Ok, I don’t become a Jain. I will go over to that new religion of Jesus of which Ezekial spoke that day. He called it the Path of Love. Then, it must be a good path only, No?” – said I.

After contemplating for a while Valluvan siad: “Come to think of it, all religions preach the path of love only. But, no man is able to experience love in it’s entirety. The common social practices called religions alone cannot bring love. That is possible only by individual efforts. When love comes into being through individual efforts that way and when it brings about an overall change in the Society, only then that which is called the path of love might become possible.”

           “Attempts at knowing whether it is possible are good only, no?”

“True, good only. Whatever we hear from whosoever, it is good to examine and analyze it and realize the truth in it and then accept it or react to it. Realizing the path of Love should help in the purification and spreading of our Jainism and Brahmanism. Instead of that it is not correct to think that everything would become alright just by switching over to another religion and that the old would turn invalid and all that.”

           I didn’t answer.

Valluvan continued, “It is only me who gave the name of Love to the Path of Jesus. More than that, to claim that to be the underlying principle of Christianity and that the Christ insists that alone, I do not know anything about it with certainty. If we are to believe what Ezekial has said, this path of love seems to have come into existence bringing along with it conflicts and quarrels. Didn’t Ezekial say about fights, quarrels and conflicts between these, of the new Faith and Jews who are the conservatives? I very much like to know fully about the rest of it. Remember, Ezekial said that someone called Apostle Thomas is going to come. Let him come. We will learn about things and thn talk further.”

           For this too I didn’t say anything in answer.

Again Valluvan spoke:“Whatever you propose to do, though you don’t give a thought to your father, think of you mother before taking to a course of action. As it is she is not keeping good health and she is down in spirits too. Don’t do anything which would hurt her further. That alone is important.”

“If mother is to be alright, physically and psychologically, I should look for a girl to get married to immediately. Even, it is not correct to put it in this way. For, I should tie the knot to the girl whomsoever they choose to be my wife.”

“Do you believe that even your father and mother would do you harm?”

“In the case of my mother, true, she won’t harm me. But, father would do only things that suit his convenience alone. That has become his second nature. Generally, many of the Brahmins are selfish only, from what I have experienced. If I am wrong it would give satisfaction even to my own self” – said I.

“If there exists a section among men in this place for which selfishness is the very philosophy of Life, it is indeed the Brahmins, I feel”

“Can’t say so with finality. Even to my knowledge there exist some righteous Brahmins–Ramachandra Deekshidhar, Bharathwaja Deekshidhar, Subbarama Iyer”

“So, you have named three person. In thirty, to find the fourth is indeed a difficult task” said I and laughed.

“Even if there are three righteous persons among every thirty in the world, such a ratio can indeed be called as showing a steady progress of the world.”

“Ok, I accept all that you say. But still, I don’t think that it is possible for me to continue to think of me as a Brahmin and move around within the narrow circle.”

“Whatever you do, consult your mother and do with her consent. If possible, take her also with you – only this much I can say. Yesterday or day before yesterday Miriam was talking about your mother.”

          “What did she say….Miriam?

“It is indeed very rare to see someone who doesn’t like Miriam. The man who is to marry her is very lucky indeed” – said Valluvan.

“Like my mother and Miriam, I know another gentle woman also” said I, with some pride.

Valluvan knew whom I was referring to. Still, just to hear it from my mouth, he asked. “Who are you referring to?”

           “My sister-in-law. Your wife Vasuki” – said I.

“True, I’m lucky in many ways. Don’t know what all good things I did in my previous birth, as a result I have got Vasuki as my wife. As long as there exist some such women, there is no need for us to have any fear of the good–heartedness of the future generations”.

“I too can see that. But, they are not able to influence the course and functioning of the present world in any way.”

“We think so – that they cannot influence. But, who knows – may be they are ruling over the world” – so saying, Valluvan kept silent for a moment. Then, “One of the important riches of all that man can attain, is a good home, one should say. If there is a good wife at home, man needs no other wealth; if there isn’t, whatever wealth and comforts man has, they are of no use. It is as good as not being there.”

“Your mother should also be included in the list of gentle women, no?”

“Yes. There may also be many gentle–women among those who are unknown to us. Not alone in Brahmin community–but also in other societies, there may live good men. For example, Ezekial. He earns wealth through fair and righteous means. Hence, added to wealth he acquires those which are considered ‘access to Heaven.’ Wealth in this life and salvation in the life after Death.” It is the combination of these two wealth that fulfills both the prime principles of Man.”

“Even though he has not acquired wealth, your father Bagavan also...”

“I am a good example to the saying that there are some who are born  rich. My worry is that I should be worthy of the riches.”

          “I do not have any such worry.”  - I observed so and laughed.

“You always forget your mother and it is that which is a grave mistake,” said Valluvan harshly.

 Indeed true. His reprimand is correct only. Not that I don’t love my mother. But, love alone is not enough. Having love and affection for her in my heart. I can still do things that would cause her sorrow. I decided then and there not to indulge in anything that would cause her sorrow.

           “Why is it that life is so difficult?” – I asked Valluvan.

“Life is neither difficult nor easy. It is we who make it difficult. Just because we do not know how to make it smooth, we make it hard. Should learn to live smoothly, without strains.”

“Like my father? It seems that if we cultivate selfishness life becomes easy,”

“That is also difficult only. One can calculate and realize that the benefits one gains through selfishness is less when compared to the loss it incurs in others. We can cultivate many other good ideals, can’t we? Helping others, showing mercy, not uttering bad words at any cost, worshipping truth – so there are many good principles available for men. If we get hold of any one of them, then...”

“Come to think of it, even myself must have done many good things in my previous birth, I feel… Or else, I wouldn’t have acquired a friend like you in this birth!” said I.

“I take pride in it, and I accept it in all humility. I am also lucky to have you as my friend. I’m using the word luck in the meaning of the rich harvest of good deeds in the previous birth. I don’t have much belief in what people call ‘good – luck.’ However intelligently we speak, we should get someone to take it to heart in its totality. And hence, I should feel that which I get, as good –luck only, shouldn’t I?”

“Ok. Let’s accept that both of us had done good deeds in our previous births. But, what we are going to do in this birth is the problem confronting us today, isn’t it so?”

“Don’t fly high. Have your legs firmly placed on the Earth and walk. That alone is connecting. Are you saying that?”

           “Yes.”

“To make one who wants to fly in the sky, walk on earth, a friend it needed.”

          “Seen in that light, it doesn’t appear a good thing to me.”

“Indeed, good thing only. Sometimes I have contemplated on why the dancing girls come dancing, wearing silver anklet. That it produces ’jalak, jalak’ sound is nothing more than a trivial reason. The main reason seems to me to prevent them from flying.’ Its main function is to prevent them from leaving the earth and start flying high, taken aloft, by providing weight to the legs – so it appears to me.”

           “May be.”

It was indeed nice to wander about here and there, along the seashore, chit-chatting, completely unaware of the surroundings. In all these years, as far as my memory goes, for the past five or six years, daily twice – morning and evening – in the morning till the sun’s rays pierce the body, if it is evening, till darkness shrouds everything, Valluvan and myself have been doing this.

I am a poor Brahmin. With not even an iota of Brahmanism or faith in it - a Brahmin by birth alone, Valluvan belongs to that caste which the Brahmins keep away from and look down – the Valluvan caste. He is also of a different religion. Through Jains are in large numbers here, they are looked down and are considered as ‘Harijans’ by the high – caste Hindus like me. My father also tells me that I shouldn’t be friendly with him, for, that would spoil me. Still, many–both the Brahmins and the Jains–do believe that in our Vedas and Upanishads many of the ideals and thoughts of Jainism have found a place. In fact, the Jains and the Brahmins do not talk of it much. Though, basically the Brahmins do think that the Faith called Jainism did exist even before the Vedic-period, the Brahmins never accept that there existed a period before that of the Vedas. They somehow cover it up.

           I myself do not think of me as a Brahmin at all.

After coming to Mylai, completing my schooling–some punishment for some wrong–deeds – in the initial days some orthodox ritualistic Brahmins used to call me to accompany them as a helping hand  or the subbordinate Brahmins, but I had never gone. But, it was not the same  in Valluvan’s case. Among the Jains many have accepted him as their Guru; spiritual leader.

I was there when the young seedling of the Pallava Kingdom, Prince Sivakumaresa came in person to see Valluvan and paid his respect and requested him thus: ”When I am to sit on the throne, please be kind enough to write a small handy book consisting of the various thoughts and concepts from the literary works of ancient India which would give me counsel and advice.”

“In your city itself there will be people better qualified than me to do the work,” – said Valluvan but the prince would not listen to it.“You alone are my guru. And, only you should write the book for me,” said he with finality. Not only because it was the order of the Sovereign emperor but also that my friend too was interested in such matters that he agreed to do so. Through listening he had leant not only the scriptures and Sasthras of Jainism but also the other Indian Philosophic strains and Sasthras while being in his early thirties itself. Right from my birth they had taught me the alphabets, educational training – everything. Initially it was me who had taught Valluvan Sanskrit,.some Tamil and the like.

“For me you are my Aadhi, Bagava, – everything. Because He had brought me into this word, my world. My worlds start with Aadhi and Bagavan alone. And, as you have taught the alphabets, I consider you too as an Aadhi Bagavan indeed.”

Only later on I came to know that the concept Aadhi and Bagavan itself was a Jainic concept. From me Valluvan had learnt to read Sanskrit and Tamil. The Brahmin community, no doubt, would hold it wrong on my part to have taught him. That too, of late, the Brahmins are so rudely vigilant in preventing the knowledge of Sanskrit from reaching the low–caste born. Wonder why..

The whole locality knows – that we two, Valluvan and myself are friends. People, mainly the Brahmins believe that I too, like my father, but in a different manner, have gone astray. They are welcome to their conclusion. I have never expected anything for myself from the Brahmins. It is true that Valluvan’s company gives me great solace and peace of mind. It was only Valluvan’s works, firmly based on sound wisdom that helped me who was struggling amidst various water-currents, unable to climb ashore, find some rest and reprieve.

I really feel that knowing Valluvan, his mother Aadhi, wife Vasuki, brother Siddhartha has brought about a new meaning and significance to my life; and that is the fruit of my good–deeds in my previous birth. Without any basis, the Brahmins believe in all arrogance that with the help of performing “Yagas and adhering to rituals, the yield of the previous – birth can be changed from bad to good. I feel that it cannot be changed. So, in this respect I am also a Jain. I should say.

Wondering what would my previous – births especially yield in the coming days, I started walking towards my house. Valluvan’s house was in the opposite direction, on the outskirts of our place. Up above, the sky was crowded with stormy clouds. The atmosphere was airless, suffocating. Though I wiped off the sweat I didn’t feel the suffocation of the atmosphere.

I didn’t know then that the usual storm in the Sea would bring about a storm in my life too. That the storm and the calm afterwards would come to me through Valluvan was also not known to me then. That I would become a nameless Hero of History was also not known to me when I reached home that evening.

The next day, storm raged in the night and died. And, there arose in my life the symptoms of a severe storm.

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