CAME THOMAS
A NOVEL BY
KA.NAA.SU.
Translated into English by Latha Ramakrishnan
CHAPTER 5
CAME THOMAS
A NOVEL BY KA.NAA.SU
Translated into English by Latha Ramakrishnan
CHAPTER –V
Even today, after very many years of all that had
happened. I could find only one reason for my going to Ezekial’s mansion with
Valluvan. That I could see Miriam, be near her and move closely with her, that
was the only reason. Her person and the way she spoke and some of the words she
uttered had a magnetic effect on me. Whether I realized that strange sensation
as affection or love then, I myself was not clear about it.
Miram who welcomed us when we went to Ezekial’s
mansion for the first time, could not be seen at all, afterwards. The few words
that she spoke were also with Valluvan only. I just listened to them, being
with Valluvan. That’s all. Those important and significant matters that Ezekial
and Valluvan discussed evoked interest in me only because they were from those
two and not because of anything else. I did not know then that the arrival of
Jesus whom they considered important or the advent of the disciple of Jesus
called Thomas would have a great impact on me and affect me in very many ways.
The old gentleman felt sad that some tried hard to unsettle the age old habits
and customs of his religion. Only that Valluvan felt happy at the prospect of
having something a new to learn and know. That is all. I couldn’t find anything
in it to feel glad or sad. Happiness or sorrow could come to me through Miriam.
That’s all.
One day, when Valluvan was advising the Prince of
Pallava Kingdom, Svaputhran, saying, “Dont waste the present, thinking of
the Future”, I sat there listening to him. ‘What a simple but thought–provoking
advise is this!– wondered myself. The future would come on in its own way. And,
would be, as it would be. It can be either built by someone in some manner or
built by one’s own self. It can also be compromise and adjustment to what
others force upon us. Whatever that be, spending the whole of Today thinking of
the Future alone... how foolish it is!
Most of the Brahmins read horoscopes to foretell
the future. Mostly it is but true only that man’s destiny or course of journey
is monitored and chalked out by something called planets which are moving about
somewhere in the Milky – Way. Still, Valluvan would mock at the practice of
depending heavily on it always, on it for death, marriage, business and journey
and for many other trivial matters. As for me, I have neither faith nor
disbelief in this. Seems like it can be so and it cannot be so also.
Leaving Ezekial’s mansion and after walking along
the shores of the restlessly roaring sea that stood in front of the mansion for
more than half – an hour, as if forgetting that Valluvan was coming along, and
Valluvan too forgetting that he had also come so far in silence, asked, “Hey,
what Vadhoola? What is the matter?”.
“You too didn’t say anything! And, I don’t have
brains to think and say of my own, If you say something, I’ll answer,” – so I said tactfully.
Valluvan laughed, saying, “But, this meeting of
the eyes do not seem to be of any help in you case. That girl is a Jew.
Entirely an alien. You are a high – born citizen of our land.”
“They are rich. I’m poor.”
“That is not important. If Miriam says that she
would marry you alone, Ezekial would make your rich. He has got enough wealth
and magnanimity for that. But, all my worry is that your father and your people
would raise great hue and cry and prevent you, and if needed, would even carry
you away.”
“Do you mean that my father would object to my
becoming rich?”
“None in this world sit quiet and watch a poor
turning rich. That too, in you cast these ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ are more, no?”.
“May be. But I know my father. If money would come
his way, he would be ready to even convert his own self into a Jew. He doesn’t
seem to be having any great attachment or reverence for the tenets of
Brahmanism,” said I.
“I don’t think that the hold and influence of
Brahmanism would that easily give way. Also, I don’t find any of the objectives
and ideals of the New Religion to be something significantly new and more
powerful.” -stated
Valluvan.
“All ideals are good only. All ideals are bad
also. Dedication towards the ideals can be seen only in a few. Ordinary people
do not have the capacity to think seriously about things called the good and
the bad. They just walk along the trodden–path that they come across, this
trait is commonly seen in all, be they Brahmin or non-Brahmin, amidst those who
follow the ideals of Buddha or those who are like me..”
“Hear, hear! not bad I say! Vaadhoolan too has
learnt to think much! Don’t know where he would go from here!” - exclaimed
Valluvan and laughed innocently.
“My father say that I too, because of my
association with you, am turning corrupt. Due to my constant proximity with
you, a small drop of the down – pour that is your thinking power, is reaching
me also. Remember what you said the other day –“
“What did I say?”.
“That, what a wonder indeed it is that surprisingly
those who are inhuman are looking exactly like the humans...”
“What of it now?”.
“No. I just mentioned. I was about to say that
those who are not Brahmins too look like Brahmins”
“Congrats! When I start a ‘hermit – school’ I
will definitely accept you, who has begun to learn the issue this much, as
principal disciple.” – said Valluvan.
“I have no wish for that. Knowledge is indeed a
dangerous weapon. Sometimes it would even taste the blood of he who puts it to
use. Further..”
“What else?” – asked Valluvan.
“All those who are called prime disciples are at
appropriate time betraying their respective Gurus – so it seems to me.”
“Oh! well-said Vaadhoola! Well said!” – exclaimed Valluvan and continued.
“Seems like you have thought a lot over these
things. That which are called Hindu religion. Paths of Life, Philosophy – the
degeneration of all had started way back in the Vedic period itself. The
Religion of Buddha preached by Gauthama Buddha had started to decay in a big
way, even before the Theerthangas could finish what they were saying, that
their ideals had begun to lose their hold and many other such things say, that
the moment he is born Man takes his first step towards his close. Similarly,
religions, principles, philosophies and all come into being ,carrying along
with them their decay. As much unreal and unsettling our life on Earth is, so
much temporal mortal those principles and philosophies that determine life.”
“Continue.”
“What to say?” We go on proclaiming “The Truth” , he
one and only truth ‘ and so on. What
exactly is that Truth? According to one’s perception truth also changes. That
which is for the welfare of humanity and mankind should be considered “The
Truth, that which causes no good to humanity and that which is against the
welfare of humanity is but falsehood.”
“Which would do good? Which would cause damage? Who
knows for sure these things? They too can change according to the changing
circumstances? Can’t they?”
“True, they can change. Because of this only
there appear many paths, ways and religions amidst us. Instead of unity
resulting out of them, chaos comes to prevail. Harmony is affected. Fights and
quarrels are born..” But, for the time-being, we should put a full-stop to
these enriching pondering.. for, see, there your father is coming..” said
Valluvan.
“Just a moment ago we were talking of him, no? He
would live well over a hundred year… What is it father? Coming in search of me?
We were just talking of you only.. you will live a hundred years father!” – said I.
“Ah yes, your blessing would indeed become true,” – so saying mockingly, my father brought forth a
sad expression on his face and said further. “The noble soul who gave you
birth is lying in her death-bed. She asked me to bring you to her. Wherever you
be... said she wouldn’t leave the world until she sees you.”
Though I feel no attachment towards my father, when
it comes to my mother I am all love for her. Under no circumstance I could ever
think of this world without my mother in it. Giving meals at the appropriate
time without fail, uttering words of love when father scolds, speaking words of
consolation, wishing to marry me off at the proper age and play with the
grandchildren, tending them with care and affection…Oh, such a loving soul!.
“My friend Valluvan, not getting upset on hearing
the news, said, “Nothing bad would happen. Your mother would definitely live
long enough at least till your marriage. She would live even longer to see the
birth of your off-springs. Go with your father without any worry”.
I know that, somehow, treatment to the patients is
also a well-known subject to Valluvan. But, in our street where we the Brahmins
live one cannot call him to treat my mother.
“I will come and tell you her health condition and what
ails her, as soon as possible. You can give some medicinal herb,” – so saying I took leave of him and, with father
following, returned home hurriedly.
While nearing my house in the Brahmin street in Mylapore
agaraharam the differences between
Ezekial’s mansion and my home came to my mind distinctly. That was mansion –
where Mahalakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth has come to stay willingly. Can say
that her elder sister alone (Moodevi, one who stands for the opposite of
prosperity) resides in our house.
Father knows some sasthras. Has earned the name
that he knows the art of making a living out rituals and ceremonies. He earned
fairly well through such an orthodox life. But there are also those who earned
more than him. My father who lived on, having as his philosophy desiring
another man’s wife, pretends to be sad on his wife’s illness. That is what
irritated me. He never thought of his wife. I think of her. And, because of
that alone I wander, feeling restless at home....learning many things through
conversing with Valluvan. I love my mother with all my heart. I have love for
my father too. But, it has in it some amount of sorrow, a pain -that whether I
too would turn into a replica of my father.
‘More than half of the houses located in the
Agraharam are slowly decaying. They were built by our ancestors in those days
when they were earning well. Mostly, as the earning of the family decline the
resources to set right the damages and renovate the house become fewer. In all,
there are only eighteen houses in both the rows that stood facing each other.
Out of this, ten houses are going from bad to worse. Of the remaining eight
houses, mine is also one. Standing slightly taller one should climb four steps
to enter it. Outside, there stood two cement benches, vast and smooth – surfaced,
which would invite one to lie and stretch oneself . Through the window that is
seen there, only the wind can enter inside and not the light. That once
belonged to that type of room called camera-room. Dark corridor. Beyond that,
there lies a verandah with wooden pillars holding aloft the ceiling. After the
verandah there is another one in the same fashion. Then there stood a hall,
vast and wide enough to encompass the two verandahs together. At the other end
stood a ‘more or less’ ten-foot tall granary. And, it would always be filled to
the brim with grains. In the center of the hall would be the swing. Mother
would always be sitting in it if she is well. But now, she is lying down on the
‘Visupalaga’ near to the swing.
Before seeing mother, I saw her. She was sitting
there on the swing as if the owner of the house. “Oh what is this? Who has
admitted her?’ I wondered. Thinking that it is indeed a surprise I
enquired, “Who? Miriam?”
“Ah, yes. They brought my sister Lizzath here to
treat your mother. I too came along” – said Miriam.
I know that there floats a rumour in the area that
Ezekial’s second daughter Lizzath is a ‘Gifted Hand’ in curing the
patients and that if she agrees to treat one and sets out to work on the
patient, even the most complicated ailment would be cured. Further, I have also
learnt that she would do it free of cost out of humaneness and that she would
use effective medicines, not
accepting money and spending from her own purse. That this girl Miriam would
also accompany is something I didn’t know.
“I love to learn this art of curing other. Hence, I
too would accompany her. For, I think that learning through one’s own eyes
alone is mainly important.”
– said she.
“Just as I come with Valluvan to learn through
listening.”
“Lizzath said that there is nothing to worry
regarding mother. She has gone to bring medicine” – so saying, when she tried to get up from the
swing I gestured her to sit down and then went near mother, and, standing
beside her, looked at her. “So, you have come Vaadhoo? Come,” – said
she, weakly.
“What has happened to you mother? What is wrong?
– I asked, in a tone that reflected the deep sorrow within.
“Suddenly I felt giddy. Seems like I fell down.Your
father came and saw me and raised great hue and cry. Next door Kitta’s wife Parvatham
carried me and after placing me on the Visup-palaga, sent her son to bring that
Lizzath. That is all. When father came I sent him to bring you here. Now I am better”, said mother. .
Hearing her uttering the word “Thaevalai”
(better) in her distinct style as “Thavalai” I felt light as if relieved
of the tension. For, mother would always utter the word like that. I used to
tease her on that account. Even when I mock at her she would defend herself
saying that it was like that in her native place. Only after that, did I ask
her and learnt which place she came from.
Mother’s native place was the land of the Chola
kingdom. A small village near Mayavaram. When father was reciting Vedhas in vedha
padasala in Mayavaram, for sixteen year old Venkataraman they gave away a
nine year old girl by name Savithiri in marriage. Going from place to place in
search of a job, when they came to “Kapali – Kshethra’ it coincided with
my birth and so he stayed in Mylapore from then onwards, in the house built by
my grandmother. Theirs was an average life with not many an ebb and flow.
‘My life should not become one like theirs, so
routine and mechanical. There won’t be any interest in such a life.’ Thought I.
‘No matter in what way it turns out to be, I should
see to it that my wife doesn’t suffer like my mother did’ – felt I. When I think of how many a blow my
mother would have suffered silently, I feel great anger and wrath towards my
father with the knowledge that my mother is the very embodiment of patience and
my father’s philosophy of life is to go after other men’s wives. I keep
struggling to go my way.
Valluvan proves to be my beacon – light.
0
No comments:
Post a Comment